In Tribute to Michael Jackson

The measure of a man’s character is determined by how much he cares; how deeply.

When Michael Jackson passed on from this world on June 25th 2009, I lost my hero. And although I never had the honor of meeting this extraordinary human being, I feel as though I lost a friend; family. And it is the very finality of his death, the fact that there is absolutely nothing I can do to change that he is gone, that so frustrates me. And what grieves me, what pains my heart so indescribably, is that here this cruel and brutal world had such a beautiful man, such an unfalteringly kind, generous, loving person, so full of care. That was the thing, Michael Jackson cared. He cared sincerely. It wasn’t for show, or for gaining the spotlight, or for boosting the ego. The kind of care that Michael had was for the sake of those who he cared for alone. And who he cared for was humanity, he cared for the world. And it was from his heart.

I’m in so much pain now in the realization that Michael Jackson was born in to a world too hurtful, too mean, for someone as kind and full of love as he was; for someone as sensitive and in tune with life as he was. And how horribly and viciously the very world he cared for treated him. I wanted Michael to be alright. I wanted him to win. To come out victorious, and show everyone that, despite what lies they spewed about him, in defiance of how tirelessly they tried to destroy him, they never could. I wanted him to finally be happy, when his life had been filled with so much heartache and suffering. I wanted that for him so much. And I wanted him to know that, despite all the cruel and ugly things people said about him and did to him, there were still so many who loved him as deeply as any love had ever run, and who saw him and knew him to be the absolute exemplification of all that is right and fine in human nature, the epitome of what is good and righteous and beautiful in this world; of what we can all strive to be as and of what, beyond all the pain and sorrow and hurt of this world, is possible for human kind. That we do not have to be selfish or cold or cruel, that we can give love unconditionally and freely, that we can forgive and see beyond the petty and self-centered concerns and needs that make up most of our lives. That we can transcend living for ourselves and begin living for each other. I wanted Michael to know that he was that and so many of us knew that. It breaks me inside to know that, in return for his being that way, for being so wholly selfless and so incredibly generous and for having such an uncompromising, limitless care for the world and everyone else in it, he was treated so badly, beaten up and tortured. Why couldn’t we have shown him we love him? Why couldn’t we have shown him even a fraction of the kindness he showed to us? I can’t help but feel that our cruelty towards him was too much, that in the end, despite being so strong, and loving life so much, it was too much for him to bear, and he had to let go. No one could endure what he did for so long. And I wish so much I could just tell him how sorry I am for what the world did to him.

But knowing Michael, and I feel I do, despite never having met him, I think he would and did forgive, everyone, despite how they wronged him. Because that’s the kind of a person he was. His love was too strong, too great, too powerful, to ever be extinguished, to ever be beaten out of him like the world does to so many of us. And God knows they tried. They tried so hard to stamp out that glow in his heart. But they never did succeed. They may have put out his life, but they never succeeded in putting out his love or lessening how much he cared, for life and for people and for animals, and for everything. And that’s what I’ll always remember about Michael. More then his talent, more then his material accomplishments. I’ll remember first and foremost what a good person he was, and how I and others can only hope to someday achieve even a fraction of the purity that was in his heart. If anything was greater then his talent, it was the capacity for good in his heart, the capacity for love and kindness. In Michael, it seemed and it was immeasurable. That’s what people should remember, most of all. I hope someday they will learn to understand and appreciate how much he meant to this dark, cruel world of ours, and what a powerful light he gave to it, and how much we really needed and relied on that light which shown so brightly from him. That light was his soul, and I know, if there is a heaven, and I pray that there is, that Michael is there now. And I hope he can see how much we truly miss him and need him. He was a great artist. But most of all, above even that, he was a great human being, a good, beautiful human being who tried with all his might, with everything he had, to make this world less painful, to brighten it as much as he could, to make it a better place. And he did. He did. So many of us just didn’t seem to notice how much until he was gone.

I love you Michael, and I know so many others do to, and you will never be forgotten for what you truly were, a man with an unendingly beautiful soul, a man with a capacity for good and love and kindness that was without limit, someone who saw the beauty in the world where others only could see ugliness and pain, someone who saw the good in people were others only saw their faults and their weaknesses. You believed more wholly then anyone in the benevolence of the world and in people, and you let that belief guide you and you lived your life according to it, and though it led you down a path of hurt so often, and though it caused you to lose so much, you never wavered from it, you never let self-preservation or your own needs come first or take it away, because you truly were committed, you believed it so unwaveringly and so unquestioningly. Believing in the good and beauty of things wasn’t fake with you Michael, like it is with so many others, and you proved that by living your life by it, even when it threatened to destroy you. You cared more about what you felt and knew to be the truth then about preserving yourself, and so few people can ever, really say that. You were a truly selfless man who had true conviction in what he said. You would give your life for what you believed in Michael, and maybe in the end, that’s exactly what you did.

Just know Michael that I understand and I appreciate you for your character more then anything, and I hope everyone someday will too, and that they, like I, will know how truly extraordinary and special and wonderful you were and how much good you gave to us and how much you inspired hope in an otherwise hopeless world. Because of you Michael, I can never truly give up believing that there is something better then the heartache and devastation I see every day, because you were that thing that was better, so much better. I know it can exist, I know beauty can exist, because you were there. And even if you were too beautiful for this world, even if you were too good, I still know the universe produced a being of pure heart in you Michael, and that gives me hope, and it gives the world hope. And I thank you Michael, from the bottom of my heart, for you being you. For just simply being you.

I wish so badly the world could have loved you as you loved it. It did not. But I still believe, Michael, that there is more then this anguish in existence, that there is more then sorrow, and it’s because of you that I still believe. You were and are my inspiration to go on and to dream. Thank you Michael, again, for giving the world so much, for giving the world yourself, so selflessly. And thank you so much for simply being. It means more then words can ever describe. God bless you Michael, and I pray to God that you have finally found the peace and happiness you always deserved.

Anyone who says Michael doesn’t care about or support his race is ignorant as to Michael's continued support of black causes throughout his entire, independent life time and his intertwining of statements regarding those issues in his work.

From his music to his films. Like "Bad", for example, as a video, that spoke directly to the conditions and situations of peer pressure many black youths are faced with in this country. With songs like "They Don't Care About Us", lines such as "black man/black mail/throw the brother in jail", etc... Michael speaking about his heritage and culture, implementing that culture in to his dancing, from tap, to jazz to popping and locking and pantomime.

But ultimately, what makes Michael so globally impactful and important is, he doesn't focus his attention or center himself on the fact of his race, his race does not define him or dictate him. Rather, he transcends that barrier and promotes the betterment of the humane condition, not the black, the white, the Latino, the Indian or the Asian condition, but the state of being a humane being, no matter what color or culture or religion you stem from. He promotes the concept that we are all, essentially, the same. Because the focus we have on ourselves shouldn't be centered on something as menial as racial make up. That only causes a further divide when we constantly are pointing it out as the focal point of who we are, when it truly is not. It is only when we can see passed these man made restrictions, see someone as, not a black man, not a white man, but simply as a man, that all people will be treated and accepted as equal. Michael promotes that. In the end, he is bigger then race issues, political issues, religious issues or social issues. Michael is about more then that, Michael is about living, in the way nature intended us to be, as part of every other living force in the universe, not separated by man-made structure, but as connected and bound to eachother, as equally aware of ourselves and the other, to know ourselves as one and the same.

Michael is blessed with incredible abilities, and in that regard, I don't believe he could have or would have ever been able to avoid becoming the phenomenon that he did. It's a part of what he's meant to do. He's even said that. But that's totally separate from certain things that have happened to him. What people have done to him, that wasn't destiny or "meant to be", that wasn't part of "God's plan", so to speak. That was simply people taking advantage of a generous and kind soul in a greedy and cruel world.
I think if Michael could have been told, beforehand, that certain things were going to happen, that he was going to be put through the kind of hell he has been by being around certain people, etc... He would have avoided it. If he could have known the kind of pain he would suffer, I think he would have tried to stop it. But at the same time, it is in Michael's heart to help others, to be as giving as he is, to be as loving as he is. That isn't something about himself that he can change. It isn't something he wants to do, but rather something he is driven to do. And that ability that he has to see the good in all things, to look for the good, rather then the bad, as most people do, that isn't something he can control either. Those are qualities which make up who he is, at his core. What happens to us, what scars us and jades us, those are surface aspects to our personalities, they do not define and are not a part of our essence, who we are deep down. Michael believes in that whole heartedly, and that's largely why he's always given others the benefit of the doubt, or has opened up his life to people that most others would turn away from. I think he knows that, the only way to bring good out of people who are conditioned to be bad is by showing them that you believe it is there and by giving them the chance to show it.

Those qualities of acceptance, and that ability to see passed the surface conditioning of society, culture and life experiences, to see something in a pure way, the way it was born as, that's innate in Michael, and I don't think he COULD change it, even if he wanted to. In large part, it may be what ALLOWED people to hurt him in the way they have, but it isn't the cause of their attacks. The cause lies with those people themselves, in their greed, their cruelty, in their fear of what they cannot explain or understand or relate to, etc... What's happened to Michael isn't his fault. He's attempted to make the world a better place through example of himself, by living his life the way he knows, deep in his heart, it should be lived, by not just speaking of his ideals, but by actually applying them and seeing them through, even if it meant being crucified for it, or being brought to the brink of death. His convictions in his perceptions are strong and he's one of those brave people in life who isn't afraid to hold on to them, even when they go against the grain or differ from what is seen as social normalcy.

Michael is different. He doesn't see the world in the same way as most other people. That's apparent in the way he speaks, the things he says, how he's lived and continues to live. It is our ideals, our values, our morals, our dreams, which define who we are, not our every day life or mundane tasks, or the things which happen to us along the way.

Sometimes what happens to us happens because those things which define us allow them to, but what happens to us still does not make who we are. Sometimes those things which define us are reflected in our daily lives, in our fashion, or others similar things, but again, those things in themselves do not make us who we are, they are merely a side-effect of what does, a reflection of what does.

Only Michael can answer this question. But I can imagine he has, at times, wished he could just be normal, like everybody else, because it would be so much easier for him then. Being different in this world, perception wise, actually seeing life in a different light, is hard. It hurts. Michael once said that it hurts to be him. And he meant it. It's painful. Some people can't handle it, because the world we live in so scorns them and treats them so badly, or because they just feel so lonely and out of place, and they give up. Michael is strong. Michael is so strong. Because he's suffered both those situations, in the most extreme degrees imaginable. Going through both immense loneliness and being subjected to intense rejection, misunderstanding, fear, hate, confusion. He's been through it all. But he's still alive and he's still trying, he's still perusing his dreams and what he thinks and knows is right. No matter how many times he's been told or shown to stop, no matter how many times he's made to bleed for being the way he is, he continues on, and he never was willing to hide the side of him which is different, and that shows his courage. Because he knew, from a young age, that people would not understand him, and they would ultimately reject him or back away from him out of fear, he knew that, and Lord knows it would have been so much easier to just hide that side of him self, to fake his way through life by acting like everyone else. He wouldn't have suffered nearly to the extent that he has. If he had just pretended to be like everyone else. But he didn't, even though he knew what was coming. And that's another example of his strong, unshakable conviction. People get mad at Michael for "allowing" these things to happen to him, they call him stupid and foolish for it, or they grow frustrated because to them, it seems it could have all been easily avoided. And so they chastise him for it. But I commend Michael, and I applaud him, because by choosing to be himself, by choosing to share the side of himself with the world which is the essence of him, by choosing to share his core beliefs and views, knowing that they didn't fit in with everyone else’s and knowing that he would pay for it, it shows what an incredible human being he really is and how strongly he really wants to better our lives and the world we live in.

He's too good a person to allow his fear for his own survival to dictate how he is. He allows who he is to dictate how he is, how he sees and feels, deep down inside. And it's who he is, as a person, which I admire the most, even above his unparalleled artistry. Because if there is anything greater then Michael Jackson's talent, it is the goodness of his heart.

Michael doesn't have quite the speed he once had (as a dancer). He used to have mind-blowing speed. But he still moves quicker then most dancers his age. I won't compare Michael to today's pop acts, because he's not on that playing field, he's a professional dancer. We can talk all day about the 30th anniversary concert, but it simply is an inaccurate example of Michael's ability. I know it's been said countless times already, but he was ill and as others have mentioned, he too was recovering from several broken bones in his foot. To site his performance there, which was still good in my opinion, would give a false perception. If you watch him in 'You Rock My World', he is extremely smooth, tight and controlled and, yes, quick. No one in the music industry can move like that, most trained dancers can't move like that. He is still just as accurate, just as clean and smooth and he still has very good speed. I don't care about Michael coming up with new steps. What people miss, when watching him, is how much movement he actually incorporates into his entire body. It's all subtle and so seamlessly connected and fluid that it isn't noticeable, often times, as a separate movement. But when he throw his arm out, or his leg, or whatever, he'll make some small, tight move right off of it, he'll add something, but it goes with what he's doing so well, it's so slight, and together, that a lot of people don't notice. They don't notice the intricacy of his dancing. He's a complete genius. And everything is clean, he has the best lines I've ever seen, and precise. He's the most accurate dancer I've ever seen. While one dancer will make one large, clumsy almost transition into a new pose, Michael makes 3 or 4 tiny steps towards that new pose, he dances to each pose, he doesn't step into it or jump into it. And he still has this. I'll say it again, although I've said it many times before, Michael is the most naturally gifted dancer I've ever seen.

These pop stars today, I won't call them artists because they aren't, have short term impact, kind of like politicians. In the end, nobody cares about them, because they aren't creating art, they're producing a product, and it won't touch people's lives, it won't have any kind of reach beyond, like you said, top 40 radio, it's all identical, it's all about fitting in, making your money, not making your mark. The thing about Michael is, they call him the king of pop, but he's so much more then that, he is truly a musical genius, he understands organized sound at a level very few people are capable of, he makes something unique, and it is all based in the truth of pure emotion, it's about the essence of feeling, as a dancer, as a singer, as a composer, as a performer. Art is about truth, and that's what Michael is, that's what all great artist's are.

None of these acts today emit that, none of them connect. They make flashy videos, everything is airbrushed and looks oh so slick and cool, but it's all fake. You don't believe it. I call Michael the greatest performing artist in history because when he's on a stage, whether it be live, or in front of a camera, he makes you feel, you forget everything outside of that moment you're watching him, because he so strongly captures your imagination, and with it, your heart. It is an experience to see him. I'll watch someone like Beyonce, or Timberlake or Usher or whoever, and they look practiced, they look professional, they look rehearsed, but they don't look authentic, they don't look like what they're doing is genuine, it looks like it was taught. They lack magnetism, you aren't drawn to them. With Michael, it couldn't be more authentic, he's so good and he's so real as an artist, that everything he does, it looks as though it's being done to him, not by him, if that makes any sense.

When Michael dances, it looks like he's being moved by some outside force, as though he's being directed by some other energy other then his own, it doesn't look as though he himself is exerting any effort or concentration, it just... happens. That's natural, not artificial or acquired. When Michael sings, he lives the song. You know the term, 'was he the singer or the song?'. With Michael, you can't tell. Because each phrase that comes from his mouth, it's as though it's happening to him right that moment, that's how well he emits. If it's a sad song, Michael sounds sad, his voice carries that emotion and it's real, it isn't falsely stylized to sound that way, the emotion is embedded in him and it's coming out in his voice, as though he were breaking down and crying, only it comes in the form of singing. Same goes for all emotions, if the song is an angry one, Michael sounds angry, like the rage is so consuming him that it's pushing him and causing him to go faster and faster. His words seem to become blurred and hurried, like he's trying to make you understand why he's angry, his voice becomes chopping and biting, as though he's screaming and on the verge of eruption. If it's a love song or a happy song, Michael sounds full of joy, you can hear laughter in his voice, you can hear him smile, you can see him shine. He's truly a brilliant vocalist, because he emotes the truth. He does the same as a dancer. He dances angry, he dances with joy, he dances in pain, it's all there, the same emotion you hear in his voice, you see in his steps. It's not about what moves you do, but how you move. His compositions have the same effect; they create and conjure up emotion. Listen to "Billie Jean" or "Childhood" or "Earth Song", "Stranger In Moscow", "Smooth Criminal", "Dirty Diana", "Speechless", "The Way You Make Me Feel", all of these songs, all of Michael's songs, create a mood, forgetting the lyrical content for a moment, "Billie Jean" sounds foreboding and dark, it sounds like manipulation, "Earth Song" sounds tragic and full of pain, and then rage, "TWYMMF" sounds like a night on the town, like we're having fun at the clubs, it sounds joyous, "SIM" sounds low, it sounds melancholic and depressing, it sounds like your somewhere cold, etc... You see what I mean, without the lyrics, you still would know the emotion the song is about, the emotion it conveys, because Michael is an emotional genius, he knows how to get to the truth of pure, raw emotion in everything that he does, and that is the mark of a true artist. Someone who reveals the truth. And that's why so many people relate to Michael, that's why he's the most famous human being on this planet, because he opens up feeling to people, he cuts away all the pretences, all of the bull sh*t, and he gets to the core of the matter, to the heart of what it's about, people can relate, even if the song or the dance doesn't directly relate, the emotion always does. Michael is real man. These acts today, they're products, they only present cool, they sing like they're cool, they act like they're cool, they do music which is all about a dance beat or a top 10 hit and it doesn't have any meaning in the end, it doesn't matter to anyone. And they aren't any of those things, they aren't cool, because if you have to act cool, then you aren't, it's about the surface with them, it's about the inside with Michael. They don't care, they may do a "message" song, but it's for image and because it's the "in" thing to do at the moment, but there's no emotion there, it's fake. Michael does message songs because he really does care, it's so obvious, when Michael does it, it's heavy, it weighs on you and you feel it. You know, Michael is an artist, today's acts are pop stars. Whatever Michael does, whatever he creates, its art first and a product second, and even if it doesn't go to number one, even if it isn't a hit, it will be, down the line, because people will connect with it, people will be touched by it, it will make them feel, and feeling is being alive. Michael makes people feel alive, bottom line. That's something none of these acts today even understand, it's something they will never accomplish, because they don't have the soul of Michael Jackson, they don't have the heart. Michael shines, he has a brilliant light which draws people to him, and they always will be drawn to him, because that light lives in him, and he lives in his art. It will always be there for the world and for the universe.

Letting idealism rule over fear

Michael doesn't blindly trust anyone. He isn't stupid, at all. He's probably as smart as anyone I've ever seen or known of. Highly observant, and he is able to see passed the surface layer of almost anything and to its core.

But there is a conflict going on with him as he clearly and truly believes in the good of all things and people, and he seeks to encourage that good, and to elicit it. I think he must feel that, even when the alarms are going off, even when he’s afraid, and he is afraid a lot I believe, if he wants to make the world a better place, he has to be willing to give others the chance to show that good and to treat him as well as he treats them. Unfortunately, not many people have shown themselves to be as noble as he is.

Of course Michael knows when someone is bad news or capable of hurting him, but his belief in seeing the good in all things is so strong that he lets that philosophy dictate him and I think, also, he knows that people's ability and willingness to deceive and to hurt in order to gain is a product of conditioning and not who they were born as or who they are at their core. I'm always talking about how Michael sees someone or something for what it is, it's essence, what it was born as, and isn't blinded or influenced by what that someone or something has become through it's environment and outside influences. He looks at things from a pure perspective and interacts with those things from that perspective. And so he gets hurt, a lot. Because people are weak and they let that conditioning control them and decide who they are. Michael believes in people's strength and ability to overcome what they've been taught and conditioned in to doing, and I think he feels that if they are shown it's alright to let go of those instincts and follow their hearts by treating them with love and kindness, they will. Michael's faith is strong. Because he's one of those people who was able to let go of the conditioning of his childhood and environment and of what life and society did to him and still be utterly good and kind towards others and generous, to be who he is in his heart, despite the attempts of the world to force him in to something he is not.

Michael believes all people are capable of that, I think, and that's why he gives them the benefit of the doubt, to show that they are capable of good, to encourage them to let go of what they've been forced to become and be who they really are, who they came in to the world as. Unfortunately, very few people are as strong as Michael and very few people are as in touch with goodness as he is.

But he's a special person and he lets his compassion and love direct him, not his fear. And that makes him phenomenally brave.

Until They're Gone

Until They’re Gone

By: Nicole Reis

I have to admit to something of which I’m not too proud. You know the saying that‘you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone’? Well, for me, in regards to the late Heath Ledger, the statement could not ring truer. And I feel ashamed because, in many ways, my new found appreciation for the man is a cliché, having not grasped the actual value of his artistry until it was lost to me and this world, having not shown my gratitude for him until it was too late. Isn’t that classic? What good does my awe and admiration do, now that he is gone? The realization makes me sad. I’ve witnessed the first loss of one of my generation’s only true artists. And I didn’t understand or acknowledge him while he was here.

You see, I just returned from my second viewing of the “The Dark Knight”, and as I had been the first time around, I was utterly taken with the performance Mr. Ledger gave in portraying the film’s main villain. He was spectacular.

Essentially, what Heath was able to do was take a character who, by all logical argument, should have been totally unsympathetic and freighting, and turn him in to a character for whom you genuinely felt, someone who you actually found yourself not only liking, but loving, someone you rooted for, from beginning to end. Who in the audience actually cared about Batman or his crusade to rid Gotham city of its crime when you had in his antagonist a most charismatic and likable figure? Heath brought to the character a charm and a sweetness which caused you, as a viewer, to dismiss with ease his violent and inexcusable acts and to actually smile at the sight of him, to cheer for him, and to desire his ultimate victory.

It didn’t matter that the Joker was murdering innocent civilians and public service officials with apparent satisfaction, or that his philosophies were so drastically cynical and displaced with civilized society. All that mattered was, in doing all of this, in being all of this, Mr. Ledger made the Joker seem the most sincere and real of all the films players, almost disarmingly honest, despite the dialog having him tell many a lie throughout. Somehow, with as unattractive and as against all principle and morals as the Joker’s perspective was, Heath made him seem right, he made him seem logical and sane, as insane as his actions were, he made him seem more deeply perceptive and intelligent then the rest, more genuine, like you could absolutely trust him, above anyone else.

Mr. Ledger’s timing of it all was flawless, down to his delivery of the dialog. His expressions were phenomenal. The way he would react, with his face, to another character, the way his eyes would go, and his brow, or the angle at which he looked at you. His mannerisms, how he would constantly lick his lips, or run his fingers through his hair, or how he would ring his hands forward in trying to make a point. The way he held himself, with an almost child-like floppiness, as though he were uncoordinated as a child is. He in many instances exuded a cuteness, even whilst exploding buildings and holding knives to people’s throats. What Heath accomplished was a perfect balance between spine-tingling sociopathic behavior and innocent charm. And no one quality seemed less real then the other. That innocence, despite actions which belied it, didn’t at all seem contrived. It seemed as true a part of the Joker’s personality as was his volatility and meanness. And that was what made him so appealing.

I sincerely hope that Heath wins an Oscar for his role in this film. Not because he passed away, but because he absolutely deserves it. I cannot recall a finer acting performance in recent times then the one he rendered here.

Looking at Heath on screen now, one becomes so acutely aware of just what a tragic and monumental loss his death is. Knowing we won’t again be blessed to receive his gifts, it pains the heart. He was a brilliant talent. What happened to him was so completely unfair.

As is often the case in our world, the ones who are special, the ones who stand out as something larger then life, the ones who show us truth, they suffer. Perhaps it is because they don’t fit in, that they feel out of place and lost, a suffocating loneliness taking them over. Their lives are filled with a struggle which only they can ever know or understand, and sometimes, that struggle is too great a burden to bear. They succumb to it, finding it easier to simply let go, and to drift away. Away from a world which could never fully accept them, away from a world which could never understand them. A world which was able to show its gratitude only after they were gone; when we, at last, finally realized just how much they really meant to us all.

One further analysis of Michael's dancing

Michael Jackson’s through movement when he dances, the movement which carries him from one step to another, is completely clean and accurate, with no excess or wasted motion, fast like lightening, fluid, with no hesitation, and with an ease that makes his dancing look totally effortless, as though it were being dictated by some outside energy or force, as though it were free of any burden or kind of struggle.

There is a seamless connection of poses and movement when Michael dances, each movement and/or step seeming to be born off of one another, with no pause or delayed reaction time, as though it were coming in to existence as a result of whatever motion came before, like a direct feed off of an already fully moving energy. Like a chain reaction.

When he hits his steps, they are incredibly pronounced and strong, and his coordination is such that he is able to put his entire body’s energy in to even the most minuet of movements, thus making them strong and noticeable.

He is also one of the, if not the most intricate dancers, incorporating movement in to each part of his body, from his head, to his hands and fingers, down to his feet. He is aware of every part of his body and he uses it to give his dancing an aesthetic complexity lacking in other dancers.

Why Michael Jackson is Special

I remember watching Michael Jackson arrive at the courthouse, June 13, 2005, the day of the verdict in his trial, and emerge from a black, tinted window SUV, sunglasses over her eyes; he looked frail. I remember a crowd around him, his family and some bodyguards, trying what lye within their capability to comfort him, and knowing deep down they were powerless to do so. I remember watching Michael intently, watching how he walked, how he moved forward towards an absolute uncertainty which threatened to steal away his very life, and I remember seeing him clutch a tissue in his right hand; he was shaking.

"I cant imagine what he must be feeling now". I remember uttering those words, I felt short of breath.

And then he turned, and he waved, to the many people pressed up against the barricades, there to offer what support they could. He acknowledged them. In the worst of times for him, his most stressful and fear filled times, when his attention could not and should not have been focused on anything but his own fate, the thought of his fans ran through is mind, even if just for a split second, and he thought it important to show them his appreciation for their loyalty; just as he had done every day at that courthouse. Looking back on that moment, I realized something.

He was set free, at last, and as he walked slowly from the courthouse for the last time, the battle he had been through so obvious on his thin and battered frame, he again acknowledged those who cheered loudly for him. And then, he was gone. His reaction to his victory was not one of smugness or celebration, it was not something he used to rub in his detractors faces, or gloat with, rather, his reaction was somber, quiet, humble.

Not long after, when a natural disaster devastated the United States cost, New Orleans and surrounding areas, Michael immersed himself in the task of helping in any way he could. Not 3 months after he had nearly been dead from physical weakness and emotional trauma, he took it upon himself to help those in dire need of assistance. Undertaking a project so large when, logically, there was no way he could have been himself recovered from his own ordeal.

What is it in this man that will not allow him selfishness, which causes him to time and again bring the focus of his attention back onto others and away from himself?

Michael Jackson is special.

His talent is special, yes, but his person is more so even.

That’s what I realized, in looking back on that verdict day.

His strength, and his dignity, and his unwavering ability to put the wants of others before his own needs, it is something no normal man could posses; it is something no normal man could hold onto after being made to suffer the way Michael Jackson has been made to.

It is this which draws us to him. His unwillingness to succumb to the anger and hatred in this world, his refusal to let it consume him, and his unfaltering ability to see the good in all things; it is what causes us to leap into the air with jubilation upon realizing his successes and his joys, it is what causes us to cry over the slightest of his woes and to agonize over the greatest of his suffering.

And it is Michael Jackson’s purity of heart, and his undying belief in love and all the good it can do in the world, that makes him who he is, that brings him from being ordinary to exceptional. The light that shines from the space on this earth that his tiny frame occupies burns so brightly, lifting our spirits and warming our lives, it reaches so many of us, we can feel him, because he cares, it is with the greatest sincerity that he cares, of himself he gives, and so often it is for those less in need of love then he, but never does he ask nor demand anything in return. That is what makes Michael Jackson a special person, what makes him an irreplaceable gift on this planet, and an extraordinarily fine human being, the purity of his heart and the goodness of his soul. That, in essence, is who Michael Jackson is, and I feel privileged to have been, in my lifetime, touched by his magic.

Why people pick on Michael

The reason people pick on Michael has nothing to do with his plastic surgery, or the "odd" behavior they claim he so often displays. It has to do with the common human error of rejecting difference. Every form of prejudice is based off of the rejection of difference, in any form.

Michael being black doesn't help, but I think the prejudice against him is even larger then that. Michael is a threat to society and its power structure because he sees what is wrong with it, and in order to change that, he has been willing to place himself in harms way.

The powers that be cannot just outright say that we have to attack Michael Jackson because his views differ from ours. That would cause hysteria among those who understand what that means. So instead, they use his insecurities (which would consist of his physical features), his mistakes (everyone makes them) and most of all, his cares (his love and concern for children) to hurt him, and to turn people against him, in an effort to kill him. It's a subtle and underhanded way of getting people to turn on Michael, and thus gaining the ability to hurt him and destroy him without the rest of the world so much as batting an eye lash.

The Blame Game

This is a thread I started on a discussion forum.

Michael Jackson went, literally, from the worlds most famous and in many ways adored public figure, to the laughing stock of the media world and perceived freak show. He has practically dropped off the face of the earth, leaving some fans feeling cheated. After all, they showed their undying love and support for him during what was undoubtedly the most difficult period of his life, and they feel that love should be requited. But as of now, Michael’s uttered little more then a few short sentences acknowledging all that happened. Some view this as ungrateful, understandably so I suppose. They feel they are owed something for standing so staunchly by his side.

According to his own sister, Janet, Michael has gone without contacting her in the nearly year and a half since the trials end, and one might assume from this statement, he’s gone without contacting the rest of his family as well, save for his mother, who seems to be the only person truly in the know about his current state and whereabouts. Michael is a person who, when all is said and done, when things have settled back to the way they were, walks away from people, from the world, and hides within himself.

And you hear often of this masquerade Michael puts on, of the image he perpetrates to all of us, that he’s not really as he appears in public, he isn’t this shy, sweet eccentric he’s led the world into believing he is, you hear this from people like Lisa Marie Presley, people’s he’s worked with, friends, etc… You even hear that Michael can be seemingly cold, indifferent. He ends relationships in a heartbeat, he cuts people off without any explanation, he hides away and doesn’t communicate with those who care about him.

It’s also said that Michael, while blaming others for all his troubles, is in reality himself to blame. He’s the one who chose to act bizarre when really that wasn’t him, he’s the one who had countless amounts of plastic surgery, who didn’t tell the world about his skin disorder and so they assumed he was bleaching his skin and wanted to be white, he’s the one who didn’t talk to the media and try to clear up the myths floating around regarding him.

You hear all of these things about Michael, and eventually, it starts to paint an unfavorable picture of the man. Someone who will come to be seen as a fraud, a fake, selfish, egotistical, and irresponsible.

I hate to come across as some blind follower to Michael Jackson, defending his every move and decision, calling the rest of the world crazy when they attack him, because I don’t think I’m that. All of us here love Michael, I think; we all care deeply about him. And it becomes exceedingly frustrating to see someone you care so much about attacked so often and in such a vicious manner. And it becomes equally as frustrating when those who attack him blame him for their own actions. That’s the same as blaming a rape victim for the attack in a way. If they dressed scantily, they get labeled a whore and are told they were asking for it. That kind of logic just doesn’t seem right to me. To attack a person and then somehow find a way to say that our own decision to attack them is caused by their behavior and choices. People who attack Michael say they do so because he acts like a freak and then hides away and does nothing to dissuade the notion or perception of him as being such. They use the logic, ‘well, he acts weird, so he’s just asking to be treated this way.’ That’s fine and dandy, but even if it is just an act on Michael’s part, this whole reclusive, eccentric, child-like image, even if it is just that, it hardly makes it appropriate or right for us to belittle and abuse him. To observe Michael Jackson’s story is more a study in human nature then in anything else.

I think people’s inclination to lash out at Michael has everything to do with their own insecurities in who they are and their unwillingness to change, and nothing to do with Michael himself. They see someone who presents a different outlook on life then their own, and they feel threatened by it. People don’t like change, and they don’t like to be told that they are wrong. And so anytime a person comes along who sends them that message, they try to rid the world of them. That’s the case with Michael, I believe.

That’s not to say that Michael’s nonchalant, indifferent attitude towards the media and the responsibility for his own image didn’t help fuel the fire, because it did, to an extent. Not addressing the fact that people saw him as some sort of side-show celebrity and letting it simmer only gave people more reason to attack, as they saw no consequence in following that behavior.

But to say Michael’s lackadaisical attitude was the cause of his position today I think is an erroneous statement. Because, while I know early on Michael had this kind of child-like, innocent image about him, that image was never really, in the first place, perpetrated by Michael himself. The media and press sort of created it, and pushed it, for whatever reason. Maybe it partly had to do with the way Michael spoke, very softly, etc… But I recall reading articles from 82, 83, which said things to the effect of ‘Michael Jackson is far too adolescent and boyish to be singing love songs convincingly’. What confused me about this was, never had I seen an interview or an article in which Michael himself put forth that notion or concept of himself. He never used to speak about the wonderment of childhood, or being Peter Pan. He spoke about children, on the few occasions he spoke publicly back then, but it was about how much he cared for them and how much they inspired him, nothing else. It was the media that began this whole idea that Michael was this boy trapped inside a man’s body, they pushed that idea, they hinted at it in ways to make it seem as though something were wrong with him, and Michael simply never fought it.

I remember this one interview I read with Michael once, where the interviewer asked Michael if it bothered him that people constantly were calling him childlike, etc… and Michael said no, because he loved children and could relate to children on many levels. This was from 1983 I think. Michael never fought it, or became angry at the image, but he wasn’t truly responsible for it either. Just because he hung out with children, visited children’s hospitals, was heavily involved in charity work towards helping children, didn’t mean he was to be taken for a child. He speaks softly; many say that’s not what he truly sounds like. But I know business men who are the same way. They speak softly around friends and acquaintances, but the moment they get on the telephone with an associate, they change dramatically, the tone of their voice becomes harsh and commanding. Does that make them fake, does it really make them any different then any of us? When we go out into public, how many of us can truly say we are ourselves? Could we ever make it through life if we just were ourselves all the time?

Michael is a public figure; he’s the most public figure, universally recognized as the most famous human being on this planet. We all know who he is, and we become so engrossed in him as a person, that we become suddenly emotionally attached to him, as though he were a close friend or family member of ours. We lose sight of the fact that, Michael doesn’t know us, he doesn’t know who most of us are, he’s never met or seen most of us and for most of us, probably never will. When he does meet with fans, it must be like a blur to him, out with one, in with another. All acting the same, asking for autographs, proclaiming their love for him, telling him how much they admire him. He doesn’t know any of these people any better then they know him. Would any of us ever be our true selves around Michael, or would we be too afraid that he wouldn’t like us for who we are, would we feel too vulnerable around him to be ourselves, just like we all are around people were meeting for the first time, or first ten times even? So how can we expect Michael to be his true self around us? It’s the same for him meeting any of us as it is for us meeting any stranger off of the street. You may feel like you know him, you recognize him, you are aware of his existence, but he can’t say the same of you. He doesn’t know who we are. How can we expect him to be real on a personal basis? Michael himself has said that people think they know him, but they don’t. He’s said that himself. We act like we do, but how can we when we’ve never really gotten to sit down and talk to him on more then a handful of occasions? For most of us, we haven’t even done that.

I get the distinct impression that some fans feel that Michael owes us. Not just career wise, but personally. He owes it to us to be himself. But I have to ask why. Why do we feel he owes us when he never did ask for us to support him, to buy his records, to show up at his trial, to defend him to media personalities and reporters? They always say an artist would be nothing without the fans, because the fans are the ones that put food on their table, pay for their lives. But nobody forced the fans to buy the records, or go to the concerts, or show up to events and rallies and demonstrations. They do that because they like what that person puts out, it gives them joy, and improves to an extent their quality of life. That was all our own choice to do all of that for Michael. Kind of like it’s all our own choice whether we treat Michael Jackson like dog sh*t or not. We can’t blame him for our own actions. That’s my main point.

You know what my first impression of Michael was when I sat down for the first time and really listened to him talk? I thought, ‘You know, this man is probably the loneliest person I’ve ever seen, and now I understand why. It’s because he can’t ever really be himself around anyone, and he can’t really find anyone to relate to, because each time he’s tried, each time he’s opened his mouth to speak his thoughts, they’ve rejected him or called him a freak, because they in turn couldn’t relate to what he was, or where he was coming from, they couldn’t understand his point of view.' He just struck me as having some quality to him which seperated him from most, and pile on his level of fame, that's just the impression I got from him. I didn't even know anything about him at the time, I hadn't really read anything about him, I knew next to nothing in terms of facts or insider whatever’

And to this day, I think that is still my most clear and true perception of Michael Jackson. My first impression. Before I heard what anyone else had to say about Michael, before my ears became exposed to all of the 'observations' others made about him, and pychobabble about him, my first impression of Michael Jackson was based soley on Michael Jackson. And that's how we always should judge a person. On the impression and view we get off of them, not off of what other people say about them.

I see a man in Michael who is, in many ways, damaged. And I don’t mean that in a bad way, but I see in Michael someone who has been, whether intentionally or not, abused by a system which put him out there for public consumption before he even really understood what fame was, and that fame grew more and more, to the point where, to walk away from it would have been an impossibility. He never can run away, he can’t ever be normal. And maybe part of that is because he hid away from the world the moment his level of fame began to take hold, but I ask those who fault Michael for this and lay the blame of his own loneliness upon him, how would you have reacted if you found yourself suddenly thrust into a level of celebrity and public notoriety previously unknown to man, if you found that you, in a heartbeat, went from being famous as any other celebrity is, to being recognized by nearly 100% of this worlds population and in turn being viewed as the property of every single one of those people who recognized you? Would you have felt it safe to walk out amongst your fans if every time you did, they nearly tore you to pieces because they no longer viewed you as a human being, but as a god? Would it be so easy for you to risk that kind of physical harm in hopes that the hysteria would lesson the more you did it? Thinking about that, I know sure as heck I wouldn’t. And just knowing that by walking out among those who claim to adore you, you would risk serious, bodily harm, would be enough to alter your psychology on the whole matter, it would begin to make you feel trapped. Maybe Michael did make a mistake by allowing his fame to dictate his life, but could he have known that his reclusivenss would lead to the world labeling him a freak and taking swipes at him with every opportunity that presented itself? Could Michael have mapped out the future in that way? No, he couldn’t have, none of us could have. None of us can see the future, or know what consequences our decisions will bring.

So why do we blame Michael for that? Why do we criticize him for that?

My whole view on this is, Michael has made some serious mistakes in his life, nobody is perfect, and Michael is no exception to this rule. But Michael also has led a life vastly different from most everyone’s. Not including his childhood, his adult life, from an extremely early age, became utterly unlike anyone’s, nobody matches his fame, nobody has ever experienced that kind of insanity or hysteria, not on that level, all thrown at one person. Imagine being the focus of all that attention? How would it make you feel, how would it make you react? When I say Michael is damaged, I mean, I think he is sad, I think he feels sad, about a lot of things. And I don’t want to analyze him; I just see that in him, I see a real sadness in him. He got that way for a reason. He acts so distant for a reason and so reclusive. We can’t claim to know why or claim to know the remedy for that when we ourselves have never lived his life, none of us have ever walked in his shoes, and none of us ever will. He’s got things in his head that none of us will ever know or be able to relate to. We can’t tell him how to fix his problems when we really have no true grasp of what his problems are, when we’ve never experienced anything even close to what he has, we don’t know what he feels.

Can any of us imagine what it means to wake up in the morning and say to yourself “I’m Michael Jackson. I’m the most famous human being in the world, and nobody really knows who I am?”

Observations

I don't feel "sorry" for Michael, but what I do feel for him is compassion and sympathy. Here is a man who has suffered a great deal, to a greater extent then I think even many of his fans realize. And I'm not trying to paint Michael to be some broken, tragic figure, I do not pity him, I admire him. But he's endured so much and people rarely, if ever, stop to think of the damage that's been done to him.

Certain times, when I've watched Michael speaking in interviews and whatnot, and you listen to him, he's come across as an incredibly pained person, even when he isn't speaking on any subject which would allude to the hurt he's experienced, he at times has seemed, as cliché as this sounds, extremely sad.

And I think it has to do with a number of reasons. Michael's suffering isn't so much of the physical; it is of the emotional and mental. We all want to relate, right? We want to find someone who can empathize with us and understand how our mind's work. We want that so we can know we aren't alone in the world. It is difficult enough for us to attain that, what would be described as people who have led, more or less, normal lives, but for Michael, it is so much more difficult, because his situation is unique, his position is unique, and because of the life he's lived and because of his genius, I call Michael an emotional genius, his perception of the world and of life is utterly unlike most people's, if similar at all to anyone's. For him to find someone who can understand where he's coming from or where he's been is nearly impossible.

We know all those years in which Michael was so lonely. He can't even speak of it without becoming emotional. Remember in that take two footage, he nearly broke down just talking about how lonely he would get, that was real pain, it hurts him inside.

Just to exacerbate that situation, he's had a wave of negativity thrown at him by the media since the early 80s, trying to break him down, trying to turn people against him. They were just waiting for something to happen that they could use to ravage Michael and it did, in 1993, and they leapt on it like a dog on a bone. They know Michael didn't do anything, but that doesn't matter, they needed to destroy him.

Michael's reach, his influence and impact, his fame, combined with his unique outlook, makes him a threat to our social structure. He sees differently, and he promotes, through himself, a change in the way we live, and in the way we are. Michael is indeed a very real figure of social change. But the powers which control our world, that control our lives, they don't want change, because it means the end of their reign and their hold on us. Throughout history, all people who have proposed change have been silenced, either through death or through propaganda. The same thing is happening to Michael.

They'll do anything to keep the public against him; they'll even hope to murder him, as you saw with the trial. Michael was so physically weak by the end of that nightmare, I didn't know if he would ever fully recover health wise. And that's just physically, mentally, I don't think he can ever fully recover.

The other reasons for Michael's hurt, I would put up to his loss of childhood. People like to say 'Well, Michael didn't really lose his childhood; he needs to grow up and stop complaining.' What I say to that is, Michael's only ever been grown up, and he is now, because as much as he wants to, or tries to recapture his childhood, he cannot, it's gone, forever, and he knows it. They say that suffering is resisting what is, and that's largely been Michael's problem. He's resisted, for so long, the fact that he never will have a childhood, the fact that he never will know what it means to be care free and unburdened, to see the world with unscathed eyes, blissfully. All of us here, we've all known that pleasure, we've all been blessed to have experienced those days, and it is what laid the groundwork for us, it is what, in the end, keeps us stable and okay. We can grasp onto those memories when we feel hopeless or afraid. Michael can't. He doesn't have those memories, because he never had it.

So he tries to regain some of that through the material, through childish things, like toys and games, by being around children. He wants to experience what that means. But the issue lies with the fact that, childhood is a mindset, it is a perception, not a physical state of being, and you cannot regain nor have that through physical things.

That, I feel, is the real tragedy of Michael's life. Because, while there are other child stars who have experienced the same thing, Michael, I believe, agonizes over it a great deal more because of his sensitive nature. By sensitive, I don't mean he's going to cry at the drop of a hat, I mean he is more aware of and more in tune with what makes a thing important then most other people. He is absolutely aware of why childhood is so crucial a time, why it is so important. I think Michael is this way with most everything, he understands what makes a thing tick. What it is that makes him so brilliant is his ability to look passed the layers of social conditioning and to look passed what he's told to think of any certain thing and see to it's core, it's essence, what it really is, deep down inside, beyond the surface layers, beyond what the world has driven it to do or appear as.

So I think, basically, Michael feels the impact of that loss at such a great level, and that's something people don't understand. It breaks his heart. Because he knows what he lost.

Yet Michael is still here, which is incredible, he's still trying to the best of his abilities, he's still marching forward and he's still trying to make the world a better place, despite all the pain he's been made to suffer. So I wouldn't feel sorry for Michael, I would feel compassion for his plight, but also great, great admiration for his strength and unshakable will to continue on in his mission, he won't give up for anything, because he knows what he's meant to do. Michael was given such unbelievable talent, I feel, because God wanted him to have a world platform to help teach people a better way to exist. And despite the cruel and malicious attempts to stop him, they haven't yet succeeded, and they never will. In Michael, you have truly the most extraordinary human being. He could stop trying, and his suffering no doubt would subside. He could give up trying to find the path to a lost childhood, and he would no longer have to carry to burden of filling that un-fillable hole, he could give up trying to teach the world the importance of seeing life through those eyes, and he would no longer have to endure the constant beatings they inflict upon him for it, but the truth is, Michael is too good a person to give up on his ideals and his values, he is too good a person, with too pure a heart, to throw his purpose to the wayside just to spare himself. His convictions are too strong for that.

If people would ever stop to think about what Michael has sacrificed to be that voice of change and understanding, and to carry on promoting ways in which to improve our lives and our universe, they would stand back in awe.

My thoughts on physical dicipline in relation to Michael

Michael may not have been able to reflect, as in think about and process, his father’s abuse had he stayed in Gary, but it would have had the same affects on him regardless. Only, instead of being able to go over it and understand why it was wrong, the pain would have manifested itself inside of him and he would have ended up releasing that anger, frustration and hurt in the same way his father did. Joseph was taking his own anger and feelings of inadequacy out on his children, he was driving them so hard because he himself felt like a failure and he abused them because of his own pain, from his own childhood and upbringing. You think he ever would have hit those kids had he himself not been hit as a child? That’s the affect taking place, that’s the emotional scars showing themselves, Joseph hitting his kids was the affects of his own abuse emerging. Just because you don’t have time to process something mentally or understand what it meant doesn’t mean it isn’t having emotional affects on you, whether you are conscious of those affects or not.

Beating a child does not teach them right from wrong. What it does is cause the child to be so fearful of their parent(s) that they will do anything not to upset them. Not because they know their actions may be wrong, but because they are scared of being hit if they do it. You can keep your children in line by setting good examples for them, teaching them good values and showing them that they have no reason to lash out or turn to crime, become part of a gang, etc… If they know they are loved, they won’t go looking for it elsewhere and they won’t look to release whatever emotional turmoil they may be experiencing if feeling unloved through crime, they won’t have a hole to try and fill or seek to relieve their pain by hurting others, because there won’t be any. Beating your children doesn’t keep them out of trouble, loving them and setting upstanding examples through yourself does. Hitting them only causes fear in them, which can turn into pent up emotion which either manifests itself through more violence or through feelings of self-hatred and low self-esteem. I think you can guess which it is for Michael. Beating your children actually increases the chances of them landing into trouble because they are then looking for some kind of release or escape from their own pain and they look for an answer to what they are feeling and a way to rid themselves of it in all the wrong places. When you hit a child, it confuses them, you are supposed to be their protector, not their attacker, they become unsure of themselves then and whether or not they are worthy of love. That can then turn into anger and self-loathing.

Anyway, Michael said he hated his father when he would hit him, he didn’t need time to reflect to know it was wrong or that it hurt him, he knew it while it was happening.


Joseph loves his children, that is apparent, I just don't agree that hitting them was ever the right thing to do or a necessary thing, because it wasn't.

Michael Jackson Dance Profile

Michael Jackson’s strengths as a dancer:

• His speed: He has lightening quickness to every movement. His limbs and his torso move from one position to the other incredibly fast.
• His control: He is able to stop himself on a dime, no matter how quickly he seems to be moving, and launch in to a completely different direction, while still retaining his form and neatness.
• His cleanness: He is very clean with no excess movement. You can see each position he lands in clearly, what angle his arms and legs are; torso, head, etc... And he retains this clarity and cleanness while moving from pose to pose, in between, despite his speed.
• His performance of interim steps: He executes the smaller steps in between the main poses with as much treatment and diligence as he does the final position. Unlike most dancers, he does not go from step to step by using a sweeping, thoughtless motion, but by using a series of subtle, smaller positions in succession with each other, with seamless, smooth connection, thus achieving optimum fluidity, accuracy and tightness of movement. Again, eliminating any excess movement or sloppiness.
• His grace: He has incredible ease and bounce to his movement.
• His coordination: He is able to put every ounce of his body’s energy into a single, concentrated movement, thus giving his dancing an amazing strength, pronunciation and exclamation with every step.
• His sense of theatre: He has character and attitude to his dancing, making it more then just the execution of steps, but rather the telling of a story and emotion.
• His style: He has an utterly distinct and recognizable style of dance, putting steps together in a way unlike anyone else.
• His ability to learn quickly: He has been said to pick up, understand and execute any style of dance step in exceptionally fast time.
• His lines: He has beautiful, full extension and balance, giving his form a perfect, symmetrical appearance. And he has the ability to hold the extension long enough for it be seen clearly, making a perfect silhouette against a light or dark backdrop.
• His rhythm: He is able to move in perfect time with the beat and rhythm of a song, emphasizing those sections with specific gestures and steps.
• His subtlety: He his conscious of quality over quantity, impressing with well executed movement rather then loud, in your face, swooping movement, and iaaware of every aspect of his body, from his fingers and hands to his shoulders and head. Every part of him dances, with equal precisian and dedication, no matter how minuet, it is all executed with the same level of importance to the performance.

Michael Jackson Vocal Profile

Vocal Profile

Vocal timbre: Spinto, Countertenor, Baritone (in the song 2000 Watts of Invinvible album, for exmaple)
Highest note: B5
Lowest note : E2
Vocal range: 3.6+ octaves (E2-B5; 44 notes by the middle of 1980s according to Seth Riggs, Jackson's vocal consultant (Quote from Seth Riggs); in the 1990s, Riggs said the range expanded to 4 octaves. Apparently, due to aging, Jackson got few additional lower notes, while not losing the highest ones.)

Waiting for a new beggining

I know "some" fans are getting tired of hearing that, after what Michael went through, nothing should be expected of him. But that's true, and it's not an excuse. Frankly, I was surprised by just how quickly Michael jumped into work after the trial. And apparently, he's been working since.

I get tired of fans who complain that either one: Michael isn't putting material out quickly enough or two: Michael won't get anything out until 20whenever because he's slow and obsessive about his work. Both types have no clue what they sound like.

Michael has said that he's in the recording process and should have the album ready by 2007. Only two years after he nearly lost his life. That's pretty damn fast; he's obviously trying his hardest. One of the saddest things I think I ever heard come out of Michael's mouth was when he said in 2003 that he would make us proud to be his fans. Man, whoever gave him the idea that we weren't already? See, that's what I mean. Someone always wants something from him, either that, or they criticize him for not giving enough, or giving quickly enough. Think about that.

Just wait for him, if he doesn't get the album out when he said he would, don't complain, because he's trying, he's really, really trying, and the best part is, he doesn't have to. He doesn't owe us, remember, we owe him. It's just, some of us make him think he should dedicate his life to us.

Michael and Truman

I pointed out in a thread the other day on a discussion forum how the director of "The Truman Show" said in an interview that the film's concept is actually based on Michael Jackson's life. Here's the quote:

"Peter Weir in an interview, revealed that the 1998 movie, 'The Truman Show' was based on Michael Jackson. "You watch The Truman Show and, I mean, Jim Carrey did a fantastic job, but Michael Jackson is Truman. He's who I based him on and he is the nearest thing to Truman." Weir also says the movie 'Simone' was based on Michael. "And Michael Jackson, he is also the real life Victor in 'Simone'. He had a talent and all he wanted was to share this and bring people happiness and escapism through entertainment. And people turn it around, they make it about the individual rather than the creation. It is the actual films, the actual music - that's what it's all about... People lose sight of this and the media make it all about the celebrity."

While Michael already found himself in an exceptional situation in having experienced child stardom, in his adult years, he actually has experienced and lived something unique. He is the most recognizable human being on the planet, in his own time. The kind of fame and the level of fame that Michael possess is unique to him, there really is no other person who can share that with him. In this way, Michael is totally alone.

When I say the kind of fame that he has, I mean that as coupled with the level of fame that he has. It is hysteria meets instant, global recognition. It's damn intense. People don't always mob him, but people always recognize and stare. If he wants to go unnoticed, he has to make careful plans in advance or he has to put on a disguise, which usually doesn't work.

No one can really identify with Michael's position in the world and he's, on top of that, been subjected to various situations that very, very few other people in the world have themselves been subjected to.

Fans, along with the public in general, have what amounts to an insatiable thirst for knowledge of Michael's private life, his private self, the workings of his everyday existence. What they don't understand is that, Michael doesn't owe them any of that, nor should he feel obligated to anyone outside of his close friends and family to share his private life, its called private for a reason. It's his; it's the only thing he really has. The rest has been turned into public property. But he isn't public property and I think fans forget that. He doesn't know you. Even if he's met you and recognizes you, he doesn't know you. Your just another face to him, maybe one he's exchanged some words with, but not family and not a friend.

If he gave what little privacy he has left of himself to us, there would be nothing left for him, he would be completely taken by the world, and that would surly lead to his destruction. It is because of people's need to know all things about him and his will to hold on to those things which people feel they are owed or simply want out of greed, which has led to Michael being carried down the path of destruction before. The tighter he holds on to whatever privacy he has left, the more viciously we attack him and attempt to take it from him.

People need to realize that Michael really does not owe them anything, not even his talent. What he gives you is what he chooses to share, and what he chooses to share is a lot. People should be grateful for that.

Seriously over-anylitical post on Michael's dancing

There is a 7 second clip of Michael rehearsing the choreography for "Smooth Criminal" with a dancer he's worked with before named Jeffery Daniels and, I know it’s ridiculously short, but even in that 7 seconds, you can see really distinct differences in the dancing between Michael and Jeffery. I always point this out about Michael and I'll do it again, but everything he does is thoughtfully connected. It isn't something he's aware of I mean, it’s just something that happens, each pose is connected by a series of smaller steps which lead to each final position. So if you watch that clip, you'll see the difference, where Daniels, for example, just reaches his right hand over to touch his left shoulder and then lifts it, Michael drops his entire right arm down causing his left shoulder to go up and then reaches up and touches it, making it all connect, which gives it that fluid motion. I know that's like OVER analytical, but you can see it really clearly, and that's just the thing that separates Michael from most other dancers, those really small, subtle things which you aren't consciously looking for but you can see none the less. You also see at the end when they cross their arms over each other after stepping back, Daniels just crosses them to hit the pose with no thought of how he's getting there, but Michael brings his arm up all the way over, giving it a symmetrical, balanced motion, making it much more tight and controlled in appearance, much straighter and extended. Or when Michael brings his hand to his head, its much more accurate and tight, and the way he bends his head down then brings it back up in sections, no excess, whereas Daniels just throws his up without real care as to how he gets there, the way they put their arms together before circling over to the other side, Michael is just much more tight and precise, again, no excess, or the way Michael places his free hand on his hip when putting his other hand to his head, again, giving him a symmetrical balance, where Daniels just lets his arm hang without purpose or direction, making it look more sloppy.

lol, ya'll must think I'm insane. But that's what you see there, that's what makes Michael a better dancer. You can see a lot in a short clip. I see that in every video and performance of Michael with other dancers. This difference in actual motion, where Michael connects each pose to the other with purposeful and aimed steps whereas other dancers just swoop or jump in to a pose, not possessing the fluidity to string them together with that kind of precisian and accuracy, it looks as though they are simply thinking of the next pose and flailing about to get there, throwing their limbs in the right direction, but with no control, unaware of what goes on in between, making it more sloppy. It isn't something Michael thinks about, he just does that when he dances, he just naturally creates these connect points which gives each movement a solid, calculated, harmonious affect.

My Thoughts After Viewing An A&E Documentary on Michael Jackson

The first time I ever saw Michael Jackson in an interview, the first time I actually heard him speak, I became acutely aware of some quality in him, some indefinable and intangible quality which pricked at my heart, and made it bleed. I couldn’t quite understand why, but it was there, when I looked at him, I felt suddenly so sad for him, I felt so much hurt for him.

This was before I had even really become a typical, defensive fan, before I had read any literature on him, or watched nearly every piece of footage ever made public of the man; it was before I really knew anything about him, or about his life. But I saw it there that day, this vulnerability about him which made me want to reach out and hold him, to pull him to me and embrace him in a warm hug. It sounds corny, I know, but I felt it.

There is so much pain there in his weary soul, and it shows. His emotions always have.

And I guess I knew it then, as I know it now, that that hurt I saw in his eyes was his loneliness.

Michael is shy, and introverted. You hear this so often from those who know him or have met him, and you hear that, starting from a young age, he began to go more and more inside himself, into a shell, more then he already had been.

The world took and took and took from Michael, demanding something more from him, tearing him apart, their want insatiable. And so he went further inside, trying to keep some part of who he was.

It’s like being alone in a crowd. He is surrounded by an audience wherever he wonders, yet nobody knows him, nobody really understands him, nobody hears him, and nobody sees him, they don’t see him, they see only what they want, they see only what they can get.

Nobody can really share that with Michael, nobody can share his fame, or relate to it, it is unique to him.

And he is so sensitive, and already so innately introverted, I imagine the impact of that fame on him must have been almost crippling in effect.

All I can sometimes think of when I watch Michael, as he struggles through this world, is a scene out of a school yard playground, where the bully has coxed the rest of the children into harassing and belittling the kid who doesn’t fit in. That kid is Michael, he’s the one who doesn’t talk, the quiet one who never bothers anyone and keeps only to himself. And we’re all that bully, constantly beating up on him because he’s easy game, because he never hits back, never defends himself… and because we all are insanely jealous of him.

And it’s because he holds something in him which we never can have; his purity of heart. It is something we can never steal away or beat into submission, it is something we can never take from him, or drive him to abandon.

He is, in spite of everything, good to us.

And we hate that. We can’t stand it, because we know it makes him the better and stronger man.

So we cause him to suffer for it, for our own insecurities.

What makes it so difficult for me is that, I know Michael Jackson is a good man, he doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment, and I know he is a sensitive man, he feels with so much intensity. So when I see a blow being dealt to him, and when I see him take it without retaliation, the hurt so evident in his eyes, it kills me. I scream inside ‘Michael, hit back! For your own good, please, hit back!’

But he never does.

Because he believes in love and because he doesn’t believe in revenge, he never does hit back.

When I look at Michael Jackson today, I feel that same sadness for him still. I know he’s lonely, and it hurts to see that, to see someone so giving and so kind be so by himself. He spends such a great deal of his time letting others know they are cared for, even if nobody else in the world shows them that, he does. And I keep asking myself, when is somebody going to show him that? When is somebody going to give him back even just a little bit of that love we’ve taken so much of from him? I sometimes am afraid that there won’t be anything left of Michael when the world gets through with him, I’m afraid sometimes that he will lose everything he has to our ungracious greed.

Because I know he’s lost so much already.